02.11.08
thank you, pondlife
earson: the white stripes - you don't know what love is (you just do what you're told), bloc party - two more years
eyeson: something unpleasant, something nice
thoughton: its not vice, is it
i finished my last day of clinicals today. this friday is my written exam for the class and then next week sometime is my state exam .. i've worked so hard, i've learned so much.
i worry sometimes that i'm on a downward spiral, like i'm corrupting myself with the things that comfort me. i'm not using drugs (other than caffeine) and i don't drink .. but i -do- look at a lot of porn, lately, and i play my video game way too much. i read CNN, i read literature on literature.org, i educate myself, i tow my car from one place to another looking for the best estimate .. but on the other hand, there are these vices, these things.
i feel mostly that i can only do my best. i feel that short of going absolutely off the deep end, i must indulge -some- things that please me or i'll fall short of tolerable and try to drown myself in the bathtub.
in the last 2 weeks i:
- have been sick
- have been in a car accident
- have flushed 7 grand in perfectly good money down the unpreparedness toilet
- have been in the hospital
- have given a complete bed bath to a dying woman, a man shaped like a pretzel, and another missing a leg
- have wiped about 3 dozen behinds
- have slept nearly nada
- but have been loved, missed, sought out, enjoyed
i keep telling myself it's all about the last thing that completes the sentence, not all of the semicolons
written at 9:54 p.m.
